As part of our ‘I Choose’ series at Breakfast Church, some of our church family have written short reflective poems to help us slow down and sit with these themes a little longer. Each poem explores one of the choices we’re talking about on Sundays.
These aren’t meant to be “answers” or instructions. They’re simply an invitation to pause, reflect, pray and notice what God might be stirring in you. You might want to read a poem slowly, come back to it later in the week, share it with someone else or let it lead into a quiet moment of prayer. Why not light a candle and slowly read …
I Choose Discipline Over Regret
by Catherine Heilbronn
I struggle to know who I am
What I promise in the morning
unravels by night
What I swear to lay down
is lurking in the dark
I know what is good
I can recite it, preach it, admire it
yet my thirst speaks louder than my prayers
I do the very things I hate
There is a battle in my head
a war no one sees
tormented negotiations fuelled by fear
Who will rescue me from this mind and body?
I run now
not from shame
but toward something greater than appetite
An athlete trains for a fading crown
I train for a heart that can hold God without trembling
I train my body
so it remembers
it does not lead me
Not in punishment
but in remembrance
I am not ruled by what I crave
Every refusal is a small resurrection
Every disciplined no
makes space for a better ‘YES’
I discipline my body
so my whole self is free to kneel
This is not willpower alone
This is grace meeting effort
God strengthening the part of me
that wants Him more than numbing relief
I still feel the pull
But I answer differently now
I choose discipline over regret
I choose the narrow road
that is leading me home
Praise God
who has delivered me
not by removing the struggle
but by teaching me how to run through it